A Mountain out of a Molehill

Ah yes, a mountain out of a molehill.

How many times has someone told you not to make one but you went ahead and did it anyway.

A mountain out of a molehill in mommy-land is also known as “running errands” with small children.

Suddenly going to the post office feels like a triathlon and a quick trip into the grocery store looks like wrangling cats to your average observer.

It is no small feat to go anywhere with small children but trying to go somewhere and actually accomplish something with in a time frame is nearly rocket science.

I swear.

This is no joke.

You have to plan ahead in every way thinkable.

These are words I uttered before leaving the house today:

“Everyone go potty please.”

“Can everyone go potty please NOW?”

“GO POTTY NOW!!!!”

“Please put your coat and boots on.”

“Go put your stuff on.”

“GO GET DRESSED NOW!!!”

Smallest child states “I want a snack. I’m hungry.”

Response to small child “You JUST finished your snack. You will wait for dinner.”

Small child “I’M HUNGRY!!!”

Response “NO. GET DRESSED.”

I think you get the jest by now, yes?

You can’t just make a list, get in the car and get’er done like civilized folk.

To all my single gal pals, enjoy your leisurely coffee while meandering your way through Target.

Once kids are in the picture, that coffee turns into water (for the kids of course) and the meandering is more like sprinting while keeping little ones in line and out of trouble.

While out this afternoon I had all three kiddos with me.

At the grocery store they decided they EACH needed their own mini shopping cart (these are adorable but also a terrible idea for innocent bi-standards who are trying to shop without injury).

While making our way through the produce aisle I notice a nice older lady with a look of pity on her face for me as she tries to sneak past my herd to get some grapes.

I of course apologize and move said herd while she kindly smiles and says “Oh honey I have more time than money at this point.” 

Oh how I envy her.

I DREAM of the day I will be her.

I used to be the mother that NEVER took her kids to the store, post office or otherwise.

But lately it just seems hard to escape with out kiddos in tow and so it goes…

A couple of months ago I took them to Target.

I had a list and was very careful to only go down the aisles that we needed to.

But alas my wild monsters sweet little angels were loosing their ability to stay calm and not pin one another to the ground by their necks.

So I devised a game.

I am sure you are familiar with it.

Simon Says

Yes, we played Simon Says while shopping at Target.

Bunny hopped, hopped on one leg, then the other. Side-stepped. Walked backwards. You name it, we did it!

Here is what I learned…

Besides the seriously crazy looks I received, to my utter disbelief my children LISTENED and were CALM.

Well, as calm as you can be while you bunny hop behind your crazy mother down the cereal aisle.

Sometimes to survive you just have to add a heavy dose of crazy and forget about where you are.

I have to admit, my fear of taking them places and the stress it used to cause me has reduced slightly since that infamous day at Target.

I still prefer meandering with a latte like the good old days but when in a pinch I now attack the outing head on and with a positive attitude!

I still believe this would be a life-altering, game-changing revolution but until then….there is always Simon Says.

if target had a bar

How do you survive outings with your crew?

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2 Comments

  1. Dear god. I hate running errands with one, nevermind all three. Target alone is a vacation. My husbands wonders what’s taking me so long.

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